 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Student Spotlights
STEPHANIE BUSH
FORMER SSS STUDENT, CYNTHIA BOYD 4th Annual Florida State University Panama City Research Exposition, 1st place winner FORMER SSS STUDENT, ANDY FINCKE, GRADUATES FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF WEST FLORIDA!
MS. BARBARA C. RAY Below is the SUCCESS! entry from the Women of Destiny featuring one of our students, Barbara C. Ray. Below is her story and how Women of Destiny has helped her improve her life:
When I was growing up, my neighborhood was infested with alcoholics and drug users. Wall-to-wall and corner-to-corner were prostitutes, dope fiends, peddlers, and dealers. My neighborhood was a disaster and so was my family. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My mother was a public aid recipient with five children and she was an alcoholic. My two oldest brothers were in gangs; therefore, they were in and out of jail. As a child my existence was uncertain at best, my desires for a normal family life were lost. I had dreams that I would do better in life than my mother had. The one advantage that I had was that I loved high school and I made good grades. I read a lot because books would take me into another world--away from the life I hated. People would tell me that I was smart and pretty, but I felt unworthy of their praise. My life quickly began to change, when at 17, I got pregnant by a 21 year old married man. I had to quit school and this disappointed me tremendously. School was what I loved the most. This change in my life caused me to become confused and hurt. In order to cope, I found myself hanging around people who were using alcohol and drugs. Later I became addicted to drugs. My marriage didn't work. I left my husband because he was abusive and I soon found myself raising my children on my own. During this time, I was on an off public aid, and I still had an alcohol and drug problem. My children suffered because I did not know how to be a good mother. This disease was controlling my life. I had lost my purpose for existing. I felt hopeless, fear and angry with myself and with others. I realized deep inside that I needed help with this disease. I was introduced to Ms. Barbara Moore, President and Founder of Women Of Destiny, Inc. in 1997. I was being rehabilitated at AWARE ( A Women's Addiction Recovery Effort), a residential treatment facility for alcohol and substance abuse. While receiving treatment at AWARE, I attended my first Women Of Destiny monthly meeting. I found that Women Of Destiny has great meetings and seminars that were informative and motivational. Women Of Destiny inspired me to seek my destiny and visualize my purpose in life. As soon as I completed nine months of treatment at AWARE, I joined Women Of Destiny, and I have been a member ever since. Women Of Destiny encouraged me to become self-sufficient and motivated me to challenge myself. I am still at the rehab facility, but my role has changed. I am now a Behavioral Service Aide with AWARE. I now work with women who are going through some of the same pains and struggles I experienced. I have also started college to get my degree in Sociology. My future is bright and I am optimistically looking forward to furthering my education and get my Master in Sociology. I am a productive and responsible woman again. I AM A WOMAN OF DESTINY. I would like to thank Ms. Barbara Moore for her vision and leadership, and Women Of Destiny Board Members for all the positive guidance that I have received. CITIZENSHIP!
BEHIND THE VEIL One of our students, Kaethe NeSmith, was featured in an article in the local paper, The News Herald. The article is below: 
Monday, July 23, 2001 MOHAMMAD A. FARUQUI "Probably the most positive remark was my mother's comment that she thought (wearing hijab) is the best thing that happened in my life," Kaethe NeSmith said. "That means a lot coming from a Southern Baptist. "She has said it to me often, but the first time my mother said it I overheard her saying it to someone else so I know she wasn't just trying to make me feel happy." But the Bay County native, who became a Muslim seven years ago, has also seen the worst reactions. NeSmith was accompanying her oldest daughter and her daughter's boyfriend one night in November 1998 when the trio bumped into a crowd in Panama City Beach. "One of them shoved my daughter's boyfriend," NeSmith said. "I said to this great big guy, 'Look, we don't have any problems with you,' and then I said to the kids 'Let's get out of here. "But the man then said, 'Well I have a problem with you, you f-- rag head' and then he hit me in the head and knocked me unconscious." NeSmith said she still doesn't have feeling across her nose. She said the incident strengthened her resolve, but there was a brief period when she wondered whether abandoning the scarf could prevent such potential conflicts. Sometimes, subtle differences in culture merely give rise to awkward situations. "During graduation at Arnold High School this year, everybody was going up to the stage to get their diploma and School Superintendent James McCalister shook everyone's hands," Ula Kamalmaz said. "In front of the whole crowd and all those lights, I couldn't just say no, I'm not gonna shake your hands. "So when the superintendent extended his hand I kind of extended my hand, but not quite all the way, and shook his hands." As part of safe-space etiquette, many Muslims do not shake hands with the opposite gender. But they get caught in a Catch-22 because it is seldom possible to explain their conduct without seeming impolite. Sometimes a person unfamiliar with Muslim culture asks for a lengthier explanation when time doesn't allow it. "One time this guy tried to shake my hands and I declined and explained why," said Raja Abdul-Rahim, a student at Gulf Coast Community College. "He was so surprised that he started looking at his hand. "And then the guy said, 'Oh OK, because I come from Texas and if somebody don't shake your hands you shoot 'em.'" Abdul-Rahim said many people want to know more about Islam or about Muslim culture when they see women wearing hijab. But sometimes people approach with discomfort when asking a question. "They'll hesitate and say, 'I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you but where are you from?'" Abdul-Rahim said. "Their hesitation is a bit funny sometimes because while they're trying to be polite, we wonder why they think we'll be offended by genuine questions." She said inappropriate remarks mostly come from men. NeSmith said strange looks are more common during tourist season, so she thinks the locals are not too bad about it. Sometimes the women feel compelled to reply to a remark to negate a misconception. Kamalmaz was paying for gas at a service station when someone behind her said, "I saw what you were doing, I'm gonna report you to (the government of) Iran." Puzzled, she turned around and saw a man in his 50s clutching a 12-pack of beer and giving her a serious look. He said he couldn't believe that Kamalmaz was allowed to drive a car. The man then demanded to see her driver's license. Kamalmaz explained to the man that Islam does not forbid women from driving, that she is of Syrian origin, and that she is not aware what Iran's policy is about allowing females at the wheel. She then showed her driver's license to prove her point. "I think the man might have been joking," she said. "But at that time I felt a little uncomfortable that his misconception might remain." The difference between the Islamic ideal and the ugly realities in Muslim countries compounds the problem. "A lot of people wonder why women in Saudi Arabia or another country can't drive," Abdul-Rahim said. "Most of these Muslim countries don't go by Islamic law. Some of them even persecute Muslims for their beliefs. "The United States is a Christian country but not everything here is according to Christian law. Americans don't seem to make the same distinction about other countries." NeSmith said she used to have misconceptions about Muslim women and about their having to wear scarves. "Honestly, I felt sorry for them," NeSmith said. "Particularly because I was briefly married to an Iranian man between 1986 and 1987, and he had very negative feelings about the Islamic Revolution in Iran. "So I felt negatively about it, too. But one day I put a headscarf on while standing in front of a mirror and it felt like a security blanket. I used to think it was so hot, so uncomfortable, so unnecessary and so un-American. When I was putting it on, I was confused and frightened and I thought I'd lose family and friends. I did lose some friends." NeSmith said she went everywhere wearing the scarf, replying with a "not yet" when people asked if she was Muslim, and soon realized there was no turning back. Overall, most people admire the women for their resolve. "Sometimes people ask us where did you get those clothes," Abdul-Rahim said. "They'll say you look beautiful or you look peaceful wearing those, and they respect us for being brave enough to do this." CHECK BACK FOR MORE STUDENTS IN THE SPOTLIGHT! |
||||
Andy smiles for the camera after having received his diploma December 15, 2001.
Ms. Barbara C. Ray, Women Of Destiny Member